The Past, The Future
by chibi-goddess-thor
Summary: Songfic to "Heaven's Not Enough". Maria had never been able to grasp "heaven" until she joined the Hanagumi...or had she?


Disclaimer(s): Maria Tachibana, Ayame Fujieda, and other recognizable characters are (c) SEGA/RED/Kodansha/etc. Similarly, recognizable dialogue was taken from OVA 2, Episode 1 "Fearful Assassin From New York"  
"Heaven's Not Enough" lyrics/song (c) Steve Conte, Yoko Kanno

Notes: This songfic was inspired by a picture I found recently of Maria while she was in New York. The link to this photo can be found on my profile. Listening to the song while you're reading it is also highly recommended!

* * *

Snow blew haphazardly in the harsh Siberian winds, occasionally freezing into solid ice that tore through anything it could; nature's handmade bullets. Bullets just as real as the one that buried itself into her beloved captain's back and killed him.

_Heaven's not enough  
if when you get there  
just another blue  
and heaven's not enough  
you think you've found it  
and it loses you_

She fell to her knees in the powdered snow

"No…no." she whispered desperately. No one heard; not through the explosions of gunshots and bombs. Certainly not by the corpses spread far and wide, the victims of a dream. "Nng!" A sob caught in her throat. "No…Captain!"

Tears slid down her cheeks; her cry lost in the winds.

"_CAPTAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!_"

_You've thought of all there is  
but not enough  
and it loses you in a cloud_

She lost herself…she lost who she was; burying her gentle, naïve self under a coarse shield of ice after the murder of the last person who mattered to her. 'Kuassary' didn't care if she died, didn't care who she cut down, didn't care who got in her way. Each death thickened the shield, stained it the dark red that flowed from their bodies.

_"There" most everything is nothin' that it seems  
"where" you see the things you only wanna see_

Valentinov eventually found her, promised to take her away, to take her to safety. She recognized him…barely. To 'Kuassary', he was just another person in her way, another death to cause, another fraction of herself to be thrown away. She cocked the hammer, aimed, and…

"Captain Yuri told me to take you with me to America if he died."

That sparked something inside her. '_Captain…?_'

A thin crack split the barrier and, for a moment, Maria peeked out.

"Captain…said to…?" she said quietly, not sure what to think. It…it _sounded_ like something Yuri would've said…after all…hadn't he mentioned America once?

"Maria, please…for the Captain…for Yuri." Valentinov softly coaxed, extending his right hand to the quiet teen.

'_For the Captain…for Yuri,_' echoed in her mind. Yes…yes, she would go…if that's what Yuri wanted…she'd do what Yuri wanted. She lowered the gun…and took his hand.

She didn't see the triumphant gleam in his eyes.

_I'd fly away  
to a higher plane  
to say words I resist  
to float away  
to sigh  
to breathe.... forget_

It took a few weeks, if not more to travel through the war-torn Russia. She left the negotiations to Valentinov, no matter how strange it seemed that he was able to pass through all the checkpoints with ease. After all, if Yuri trusted him enough to take her to America, who was she to question him? Questioning him meant questioning Yuri.

'_Captain Yuri._'

She winced and turned her attention back to the small English book she carried with her. Focusing on learning the strange language helped take her mind off the painful memory.

It already haunted her dreams enough as it was.

_And heaven's not enough  
if when I'm there I don't remember you  
and heaven does enough  
you think you know it  
and it uses you_

America…was not the haven she had expected it to be. Not if New York was supposed to represent the rest of the country.

Getting through Ellis Island had been a nightmare. If Valentinov's 'cousin' hadn't been there to vouch for them, they would've been forced back on the boat. They exceeded the immigration quota allowed for Russia. If they had no business or family in America, they wouldn't be allowed in.

Luckily, Valentinov's 'cousin' provided both reasons.

Days later, she was provided with her first job: a bodyguard for the wealthiest mob boss in Little Italy.

_I saw so many things  
but like a dream  
always losing me in a cloud_

"Some 'family'." She muttered to the bottle of vodka clenched in her right hand. What would her beloved Captain say if he knew she'd been caught up in the New York mafia? What would he say to the 'silencings' she'd partaken in?

The hardened shell she had built up as 'Kuassary' had gotten brittle; it shattered completely after her first assignment.

Fighting in the war, fighting for a reason made killing okay.

Killing as 'Kuassary' made existing easier. Shoot those responsible for Yuri's death. Hell, shoot everyone. They're all against you anyway. Don't even bother thinking; you won't live for very long.

Killing as an assassin…was admitting that the person you were killing was human. You had to think, you couldn't ignore that their blood would be on your hands.

She took another long swig of the vodka that became the initial substitute for her lost shield. Now, after her eighth assignment, it had become a ready companion and perhaps the only one she could trust in her do-or-die world.

It didn't help that Major Valentinov referred to her as 'Kuassary,' a name she was still trying to pull away from.

A newer, more refined shield had formed after her second job and the memories of her captain held in the small locket around her neck; away from her current world.

_Cause I couldn't cry  
cause I turned away  
couldn't see the score  
didn't know the pain  
of leaving yesterday really far behind_

She didn't believe it at first when someone told her of Valentinov's treachery.

Yuri entrusted her to his killer? It didn't make sense. She didn't _want_ it to make sense.

She ran out of the small café before Ayame could stop her. She had to find out the truth from the Major himself.

_In another life  
in another dream  
by a different name  
gave it all away  
for a memory  
and a quiet lie_

The snow fell softly as she aimed her Enfield revolver at Valentinov, letting him know she was serious and that she wouldn't be so easy to lie to as the girl she had been two years ago.

"Please tell me, Major." She said, keeping her voice steady. "In that battle at Moscow, the enemy had set up an ambush."

His confident expression hadn't changed the slightest.

"Did you know about that, Major?" she asked, narrowing her eyes slightly.

She hoped he said no, she hoped…that he hadn't been the cause of her years in hell.

His chuckle, low and arrogant, made her stomach churn. She readied her trigger finger. Hoping was no longer permitted.

"The world of adults is such a dirty place, you know?"

She fired without blinking. Years of learning to aim for the vital points for the quickest, cleanest kills finally paid off as the bullet buried itself in its target.

He would never use his right arm again.

_And I felt the face  
of a cold tonight  
still don't know the score  
but I know the pain  
of leaving everything really far behind_

Bullets impacted the ground around her as she exited the alley. She cursed silently as she took off running; another set-up by the traitor.

'_That's why the bastard was so smug!_' Maria thought, growling as she turned around and took off into the darkness.

She ran through the cold night air, back to where she had left the Japanese woman waiting, stopping momentarily only to run back inside and grab Ayame's arm none-too-gently and pull her outside.

"Run!" she whispered harshly and released the older woman.

Ayame nodded and took off running ahead of her. Maria turned back towards the Mafia grunts that had followed her.

Five bullets left. Perfect. There were only two guns aimed at her.

_And if I could cry  
and if I could live what truth I did then take me there_

"_Za vashe zdorov'e._" She whispered as she clutched her right arm. She hadn't been fast enough to plug both barrels before they shot. One of their bullets grazed her upper arm and left a sizeable gash that would need to be bandaged.

'_Cheers,_' she thought as she took off running again. Cheers to leaving this god-forsaken country, cheers to the death of 'Kuassary'…and…cheers to her new life.

_Heaven, goodbye._

She ran a hand through her hair and noted that, for the first time in ten years, it fell just past her shoulders. Just what else had changed and not yet been noticed?

"You look good with long hair, Maria-san." Ayame commented, smiling gently at her.

Maria didn't smile back.

"It will only be a hindrance in battle. I will get it cut once we're ashore."

The older woman chuckled softly, "You'll make a great captain, Maria-san, but, in all seriousness, you need to lighten up a bit. Now…" Ayame glanced around the small room. "Oh good, they already brought it." She took the bottle of champagne and the two glasses that accompanied it over to Maria's bed and sat down.

"Vice-Commander, what is--?"

"We're celebrating your captainship, of course!"

"But—"

"No buts!" A half-glass of the bubbly liquid was placed into Maria's hand.

"I—"

"Maria-san…a toast." Ayame raised her own glass, cutting off the Russian's protests. "To new beginnings."

Maria gave a small smile at her superior's choice of words. Her glass met Ayame's with a soft clink.

"To new beginnings, indeed."

'_Farewell, my memories._' Maria thought as she took a small sip.

'_And…Captain? I think I'll survive this time._'


End file.
